Who ever is dating the Prince
Can never have him completely
For he is always
Having to deal with his people
"Are you done yet?" Said Neil. Voice hard and eyes of steel. He didn't like waiting. Hated it with a passion accumulated by years of people doing what he wanted within seconds.
The girl shook her head no. Her back to him as she scribble on a piece of paper. Dismissing his request when an intriguing thought came to mind. Rather that have leave it to memory she chose to write it. Even if that meant ignoring what Neil had to say.
He ran a hand through his hair in exasperation. Eyes wondering across the room. Feet begging to get away.
Turning slightly he gave him the piece of paper he was waiting for. Hands no longer shaking with the fear she had once shown.
He reached forward, eager to get away from the place he had long abandoned. Eager to fade from the sight of those empty closed eyes.
Eagerly we await
The meetings of two worlds
No longer able to hold back
The scars beginning to show
"What two worlds?" he said after reading her note out loud. The girl shook her head again.
She had a way with words. She had a way with music. Sounds. Emotions.
It was a tragedy she couldn't see the effect her talents had on him. On the people who met her and learn the way it pain her.
She always understood words. Especially the ones she wrote, having her not understand them was rare. And unnerving.
"You have what you came from, would you now leave?" she said with her voice quiet.
He shook his head even though he knew she couldn't see.
"I'm sorry" he whispered. Voice low for only her ears to hear because she was the only person who deserved to hear those words coming from him.
"You always hurt the ones you love" she said just as low.
"You never know how much pain you put them through. You put them through misery and expect them to stay close regardless of that hurt" she continued.
"I'm sorry" he said again. Standing still as each word, each accusation cut what was left of his heart.
"There's nothing you could have done"
"I could have-"
"You could have. But you didn't. Don't torture yourself over this anymore"
But he couldn't stop. He could pretend long enough. But he couldn't allow his mind to forget the fact that he had made her unhappy when she needed the joy of life more than ever.
"Would you continue to work there? Continue to lie to girls and break their hearts apart?" she asked looking at the spot where he was.
"I have no choice" he answer, lying to her yet another time.
He had a choice.
A choice he chose to ignore because he felt it would make the pain easier to deal with. He had thought living up to the reputation they had given him would made it harder for him to forget the pain.
If he became the person they'd always thought he was, if he became another person altogether then he would remain broken.
"You're breaking your soul apart" she whispered.
"I’m doing to myself exactly what I did to her"
Her.
The girl he had truly loved.
Who’s breath smelled like pure, sweet flowers. Who's life distilled joy and kindness.
"This is not because of her. No, this thing you're doing to yourself is not because you want to continue feeling the pain. Is because you're afraid. Afraid another girl will fall for you like she did. Afraid of loving someone again."
"Why should I be afraid of girls falling for me? Haven't you heard, that's how I get paid." he said voice hard. He wanted to leave. Wanted to walk out the door and never look back, but he couldn't. Too many strings made in the past hold him in place. He had to hear her out.
"You're a coward for making girls fall for you in hopes they'll die for you like she did just so you'll have an excuse to torture yourself. That's all you want out of life now. That's all you pursuit and yearn for. Another reason to loath yourself. To make others loath you. You may try all you want but sooner than you think you're going to realize that nothing can be ignore. No emotion or feeling can be buried or killed as long as you're still alive. And when the feelings are awaken again you will wish to die. Because you're not allowing yourself to be loved. You prefer to go through life half-dead inside rather than accept the fact that life goes on. That forgiveness is possible. Even for you."
His face was hard. Everything inside of him was hard, and yet he felt something breaking inside with her words. True words he would rather never have heard.
"Nobody would love a person like me. Not like she did" he said barely audible.
"As long as you think that nothing will change. But perhaps and you'll meet a person who can do for you what I cannot. Someone who will find a way of finally breaking that wall inside your heart apart once and for all, because Neil. I'm done trying to make you stop hurting yourself when you wont listen to me. Because if you don't believe the words I say to you maybe and you'll listen when the words are spoken by a person dear to you."
He turned around and walked out of her house. The only person who knew of his past and still chose to remain in his present.
No comments:
Post a Comment